GM diet: the dawn of day #2

yesterday was my first day of the GM diet.

"On the first day of the GM diet, followers are only allowed to eat fruits. These fresh produce should contain no form of starch, potassium and carbohydrates, such as bananas. This is because on the first day of this diet plan, the body is subject to detoxification. Only fruits and water can be consumed." (from gmdietworks.com)

here's how it went down:

breakfast: 1/2 a cantaloupe
lunch: 1/4 a cantaloupe, 1 bowl of fresh pineapple chunks
afternoonsies: 2 or 3 handfuls of grapes
dinner: the rest of that cantaloupe and a bowl of fart soup. i mean, magic soup.

i also spent 70 minutes on the elliptical machine that morning and did some pretty serious sweating. i was pretty busy at work and sort of um ... forgot to drink water. (you are supposed to drink 10 8oz glasses of water per day during a GM cleanse). as a result, i was fairly dehydrated and dizzy and just felt pretty sickly. so we'll call that an oops and move on.

when i woke up this morning and weighed myself after a very weird morning-time BM (which i will have to attribute to having eaten AN ENTIRE CANTALOUPE yesterday), i was exactly 1 pound lighter than i was yesterday.

day #2

day two is vegetables only. you are supposed to start out the day with a giant potato with a small amount of butter. i imagine this is to prevent you from passing out during the rest of the day seeing as you ate no proteins or starches on day 1 and you won't eat any for the rest of day 2 either.

here's my breakfast:


that would be the world's most giant potato. i was pretty grossed out by the idea of eating this for breakfast, but oddly enough, it smelled and tasted pretty fantastic. until about halfway though at which point i really wanted to throw in the towel, but then i remembered that i would only be eating cucumbers and carrots the rest of the day and figured they want you to eat a giant fucking potato first thing in the morning for a reason. today i opted out of cardio and followed my typical woman weights routine instead. i have 5 pound dumbells that are very pitiful and hilarious but DON'T JUDGE ME. baby steps. i also spent some quality time stretching because i'm an old person and if i don't stretch i end up all 'help me up sonny, my sciatica's a-painin'' and all, 'where's the motrin, i need to eat about 8 of them', and all, 'OMG OMG OMG AURGHHHH' (crash bang boom as i fall down because my leg just stopped working in the middle of walking up the stairs). (yes it is glamorous to be me).

SO i am charging forth into day 2 with a promise to myself to do a better job of hydrating (why do i always have to learn my lessons the hard way) and to remember to take the beano to work because i'm having fart soup for lunch and people are always walking up BEHIND ME in the office. those fools.