gm cleanse day #4

yesterday was day #3 of the General Motors diet/cleanse.

"Day 3, nearly half way through the GM Diet. Things should only get easier now. Day 1 of the GM Diet and to a certain extent, Day 2 can be really hard for some people. On Day 3 of the GM diet weight loss plan, followers are now allowed to eat a combination of fruits and vegetables. There is no limit or restriction to the fruits and vegetables to be consumed on Day 3, although bananas are still not allowed. Followers of the diet plan may find less pressure to keep up with the regimen’s demands, as they have already adjusted their systems to fruit and vegetable intake during the past two days. During the first three days of the GM diet, it is important to consume only fresh produce, as they contain more nutritional value. Organic harvests are also recommended, although these tend to be more expensive and have lesser taste." (from gmdietworks.com)

ok first of all, who wrote this shit? organic harvests have lesser taste? what the? ok anyway, moving on. here's how it went down:

breakfast: MOST DELICIOUS SMOOTHIE I'VE EVER MADE + pumpkin spice tea (that smoothie! mm!)
lunch: steamed cauliflower, peas, grapes and a pear
afternoon snack: apple
dinner: another delicious smoothie! 2 clementines, 1 pear, and 1 cup of trader joe's frozen cherry berry mix. it turned out quite delectable, though a banana really would have taken it over the top. sadly bananas are verboten on day 3. i also had some pomegranate arils because i am exotic and exciting.

when i woke up this morning, i was 1 pound lighter than i was yesterday. that's 4 pounds total in 3 days. i'm not going to try and be cavalier about this; i was pretty bummed that i only lost 1 pound yesterday. however, my gastrointestinal tract seems to be trying to send me some kind of message. since yesterday, i have been experiencing what we in the hancock household refer to as bubbleguts. it's that disconcerting feeling you have when you aren't actually in pain, and nothing bad is happening (i.e. no trostky's disease or technicolor yawns) but you just have this sort of churning, foreboding sensation in your insides.

it's like my guts are saying, "missy, whatever you are doing: stop doing it."

unfortunately, guts, you'll have to put up with this for a couple more days.

day #4
day four is by far the weirdest, IMHO. what's on the docket for today's eats? well you start off with:

bananas and milk.

then later you have:

bananas and milk.

later in the day, you have some:

bananas and milk, and then you finish up the day with a nice dinner of:


YEP. IT'S BANANAS AND MILK.

ok, so seriously? on day four they say to eat up to 8 bananas and drink 3 glasses of milk, and supplement with the fart soup. so weird. there's some kind of scientific reason for this but i'm not in it for the science. i'm in it for the smaller pants.

here's my breakfast
:

i blended up 2 bananas with a cup of almond milk (i don't do moo juice, thankyouverymuch), 6-8 ice cubes, and a heaping teaspoon of trader joe's pumpkin pie spice. it's pretty tasty. we'll see how my guts feel about it as the day progresses. and if you thought today was weird, just wait and see the freakshow of my dietary schedule tomorrow.