gm diet day nu- ok yeah i give up.

GM DIET WRAP-UP

it's day 7. i have officially said 'eff that ish'. fad diets are stupid. that is why they do not work and they are called 'fad' diets. here's a summary of how this diet went for me:

days 1-2 "yeah! this is is awesome! i'm gonna lose 20 pounds in a week and all my dreams will come true!" i'm a little hungry at this point but that's great because THAT MEANS THE DIET IS WORKING.

day 3 "wow, i am really hungry! this is a good idea right? yeah it's definitely worth it." i'm feeling pretty tired at this point and struggle to complete my normal morning time gym routine.

day 4 "WHERE IN THE HELL DID ALL THESE CANARIES COME FROM AND WHY ARE THEY FLYING IN CIRCLES AROUND MY HEAD." at this point i am completely exhausted and so hungry that i'm pretty sure my stomach is using its own acid to digest itself.

day 5 "motherfuckers! fuck! shit! damn! bastards! everyone sucks! i hate you all!" on day 5 i have regained enough clarity to know that this is stupid. i'm tired. i feel slightly like i might be coming down with the flu. i cheat a little. it feels oh so good.

day 6 "ME HUNGRY!!!!!!!!" all bets are off. i'm eating everything that isn't nailed down. though, i didn't have time to eat my lunch at work yesterday (except for the grapes and small bowl of brown rice), and at one point after having left the office, i returned to find a snickers bar on my keyboard. at that point i blacked out, because the next thing i know, the snickers bar is gone and i'm sitting at my desk, breathing heavily and licking something sweet and chocolatey off my fingers. pretty mysterious and inexplicable, i'd say.

day 7 i woke up on day 7 having lost a little under 4 pounds total. hey man. 4 pounds in a week ain't so bad, right? i went to the gym this morning and struggled. it was like ellipticizing through warm quicksand. diet over, jokers!

and back to your regularly scheduled programming.

here's today's breakfast:



i made persimmon-banana baked oatmeal. it is great! here's the recipe:

persimmon-banana baked oatmeal

ingredients:

• 1 persimmon
• 1/2 banana
• 1/2 c oats
• 1 pinch salt
• cinnamon (as much as you like. i like a lot.)
• a couple splashes of almond mylk

directions

• pre-heat oven to 380 degrees
• throw your persimmon in the blend tec with a little almond mylk to turn it into persimmonsauce.
• in a small bowl, smash up your 1/2 banana and add the persimmonsauce. add vanilla extract if you have any, which i didn't, but you could because maybe your pantry is better stocked than mine. shut up.
• in another bowl, combine all the dry ingredients and mix em up.
• add the wet stuff to the dry stuff. stir that shit up.
• transfer to an oven-safe ramekin thingie.
• bake for about 20 minutes and then broil for 2 or 3 so the top is nice and crispity, if that's what you're into (which i am).

here is what i am taking to work for lunch:



here we have a nice little fart-inducing bento of cauliflower with sriracha, brown rice, and cabbage and onions sauteed in a little rice vinegar with some trader joe's lo-sodium soy sauce. i also packed an apple and some greek yogurt because i have probably been ignoring protein for a little too long (hence the strange encounter of the snickers kind from yesterday. yes. we'll blame it on a lack of protein. shut up.)*also here is a kitty*



awwww wook at vat widdle face!!! alfred has been really concerned with my lack of protein intake over the last several days. it was his idea to pack the greek yogurt.

has anyone else tried a stupid fad diet? did you actually stick to it the whole way through or crumble like a weakling (à la missy hancock)?