"The fourth day of the GM diet weight loss program is filled with surprises. Unlike the past three days where you are only allowed to consume fruits and vegetables, Day 4 offers three unlikely meals: bananas, milk and soup. Day 4 can be quite boring at first glance as these are the only meals allowed for consumption but remember that by now your body has already adjusted to the big change in diet and is slowly getting used to the new dietary content. By Day 4 the body has already garnered sufficient amounts of sweets from fruits, and at the same time fiber from vegetables. Since it already has a sustained appetite, it would no longer be responsive to the taste of bananas. Persons who have reached Day 4 would rely more on liquids, and they get their energy from milk shakes and soup."(from gmdietworks.com)
and here's how it went down:
breakfast: 2 bananas, 1c unsweetened vanilla almond milk, trader joe's pumpkin pie spice, ice - tasty smoothie.
lunch: fart soup, 1 c unsweetened almond milk, 1 banana
afternoon snack: 1 banana, some carrot and cucumber, a little iceberg lettuce, a dolmada, and ... spinach pie. yeah i kind of fucked up a little on day 4. Jeremy took me contra dancing at William and Mary, and before we went, we got drinks and food at Paul's Deli. i ordered a hot tea and a salad and this salad came with a dolmada and two little slivers of something they called spinach pie, which i shouldn't have eaten, but it was there, and i was hungry, and DON'T JUDGE ME!
dinner: 2 more bananas, 1/2 c almond milk, ice cubes, splash of cold coffee. this was another milkshake concoction that i enjoyed post-contra dancing (contra dancing is essentially super fun totally awesome aerobics).
when i woke up this morning, i weighed exactly the same as i weighed yesterday. why? was it the 2 slivers of forbidden spinach pie? was it all those fucking bananas? (for those of you who didn't count em up, i ate 6 bananas! which makes my jumping out of bed at 2 am, running around the house in pain from a totally bonkers calf-muscle-spasm-of-doom situation even more inexplicable.) was it the fact that i have absolutely ignored one of the cornerstones of this diet?
yes, that could be it. my biggest fail with this diet has been...
hydration. one is supposed to consume at least 96 ounces of water every day while following this cleanse. i've been averaging about 40. oopsies. on the brighter side, yesterday's gasto-intestinal trauma seems to have died down.
day #5
day five is maybe weirder than day four. i'll let you be the judge. on day 5, you must consume 6 whole tomatoes
(photo courtesy of jeremy hancock)
and "the equivalent of five quarter-pounders" worth of beef.
wait, what?
"suuuure, go ahead and eat a big pile of rotting cow carcass, missy. in the meantime, i'll be iceskating with the devil."
ummmm yeah, so i will NOT be consuming the decaying corpse of what was once a giant poop-covered, disease-ridden, snot-nosed, stomach-acid-filled,...... uhg you know what, we don't have to get into this, the point is, i'm not eating no dang beef.
the vegetarian option for this diet is to eat brown rice instead of beef.
brown rice!! now we're talkin'.
my breakfast consists of 1 sliced tomato, 3/4 c brown rice with salt and pepper and a little nutritional yeast (because i came a little too close to passing out yesterday on several occasions and it seemed like it might help? probably it's all in my head.)
days 6&7 are going to be so boring compared to 4&5.
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