saturday

it is saturday. that means i get to sleep in until 7, if i skip the gym, which i did. i am fat. i am getting fatter every second!! anyway, i skipped the gym. for breakfast, i did not enjoy the following bowl of oats, banana pieces, a splash of 2 week old almond mylk and a dollop of peanut butter:



it was pretty gross. i'm ... not sure where i went wrong with that situation.

i forgot to take a picture of my lunch, but it was steamed cauliflower with marinara sauce and cheese and an apple on the side. i enjoyed it but then my work-friend jessica came into my office and said "aqui huele funny" and then i realized that i was THAT GUY. the one who stinks up the whole building with his stinky lunch. but maybe being THAT GUY isn't quite as bad if you're THAT GUY on a saturday when only 8% of the office is there to know suffering as a direct result of you being THAT GUY anyway.

work was pretty stressful but not as stressful as usual since, again, only 8% of the office was there. on normal days, though, i'd say this picture (which i did NOT stage, btw) pretty much sums it up:



headaches n' heartburn. yep. i was just sitting at my desk and noticed that those two items were sitting next to each other just waiting to lend a helping hand and i thought it was pretty sadbutfunny.

so then on my way home from work, i decided to swing by the farmers market and buy 8 bucks worth of xantham gum. i've always wanted to try adding it to my smoothies but could never justify the cost. but if we are being honest, that 8 dollar tub of xanthum gum is probably going to last a pretty long time. so anyway, the point of this story is that when i left work, i had to poop pretty bad, but there was only one other person in the office and i didn't feel comfortable to poop in that situation, so i held it. but then i really wanted to go to the farmers market. so while i was there it wasn't that bad cause i was distracted by cool stuff like creamy buckwheat cereal (which i bought) and lemon pepper seasoning (also bought) and giant tubs of xantham gum (again, BOUGHT) so it was fine. but then when i got back to my car (after first attempting to get into SOMEONE ELSE'S CAR which happened to be green and generally shitty looking, so basically IDENTICAL to mine) i was pretty much prairie dogging in a very serious way.



no no, not that kind of prairie dogging. though it was a pretty intense and dramatic drive home. at a stop light, i took advantage of my suffering for the sake of my blog, and took this picture with my crappy cellphone from 2005:



yep, so that's what i look like when i really have to do a poop.

well then. for the rest of the day i am going to do a lot of sitting around and watching TV. jeremy and i have a pretty sacred saturday tradition of watching the league, it's always sunny, and american horror story (which is so good this season!!!!!22~~12///!~~) i might also make a grocery list and i should probably do a hefty amount of laundry, but then i was all like mehhhhh...