i whanna wheen

so every once in awhile, it comes to the attention of the people in my office (and to myself) that we have all become enormous, bloated, doughy blobs of insecurity. when this happens, we pull together and do a Biggest Loser (tm) contest. this time last year, i entered the contest and won the shit out of that shit. i looked and felt amazing! hot damn. but then the fourth quarter happened and i stress-ate my way back to only 4 pounds less than my pre-biggest loser weight. why can't i have a better way of handling stress? some people get so stressed that they can't be bothered to eat. other people find an outlet for their stress in jogging or lifting weights. or like, shopping. or cleaning. but missy? missy can't do something useful or beneficial with her stress. she just eats everything that isn't nailed down.

anyways, my point is that this year's Biggest Loser (tm) contest is looming on the horizon, with our first weigh-in slated for March 1. the thing is, i am actually in need of a little pre-game. so to get ready, i'm doing a little special-k (tm) type pre-contest run. the problem with special k (tm) is that it is like not super awesome for you. so i subbed it out for some dirty hippie cereals from trader joe's.



there's breakfast, minus the pear that i am taking to work with me.



and there's lunch.

the point of this little pre-game diet is to flip the eating switch back to 'off'. if my only choice for breakfast and lunch is cereal and fruit then i don't really have to think about anything. i just follow the rules and that is that. so hopefully i lose a couple pounds before the weigh in and i enter the contest in a more health-conscious state of mind. (which by the way, is a state of mind that i have not been in [....in which i have not been?....] last weekend i ate a doughnut the size of my face from the doughnut shop in the same plaza as the Hancock Family Tattoo Artist. and that doughnut followed a breakfast of challah french toast. mhm. bad things.

so anyway, biggest loser, special k, and nacho libre's battle cry.






it's kind of upsetting how much i have in common with nacho libre. spent childhood in group home, check. speaks with ridiculous accent for no apparent reason, check. likes to dress up in costumes, double check. weight problem, hello?! check. sometimes wear stretchy pants in my room for fun, check. great ... this movie is going to be playing in my head all day.

but it's ok because from now on, when i am tempted to indulge in a calorie-laden snack, i'll be like:



and if anyone tries to tell me that i can't get back into shape, i'll just be like: